My name is Angeline, you may call me Angel in short. Old friends of mine known me as MeiLin. :)
Twenty candles on the 2nd November '09.
Currently a Home-maker since I gotten the title as Mrs Guan Chenyang on the 28th May '09
and I am a young mommy of one, that makes me known as Dou Mommy.



My Loves♥




My beloved Hubby, Guan Chenyang also known as Dou Daddy.





My beloved Baby Boy, Kesler Guan Kai Si
Known as Ah Dou (Doudou)
Born on 12 Nov '09 via Assisted Delivery with Epidural
Gestation Period, 37 weeks 4days.
Birth Weight, 3.445 kg. Birth Length, 50 cm. Head Circumference, 34 cm.
Delivered by Dr. Lawrence Ang @ Thomson Medical Centre.







You may visit Kesler's Website for more of him. :)





My family, from left to right, My dearest Daddy, dearest Sister and dearest Mommy
Also known as Dou Ah Gong, Dou Ahyi and Dou Ah Ma




My OtherLoves♥



The Famous 3, Dou Ahyi(s)
From left to right, Wandee, Carman & HuiLing





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at 12:55:00 PM

I am back to blog with a 2D scan of my little gem that is currently 8weeks 2days old. =) So glad that we got to see and hear his/her little heart beat last noon. It’s fast but steady beating rate got me amused. Hahas.





My next appointment with my gynae will be in a month time, and by then I supposed we will be able to see my little gem more clearly then now? =p Little gem, I pray that you will be healthy and strong… and that mommy will always love you no matter what happens.

So last afternoon after my appointment, I went to meet Wandee for lunch then to Party World for some singing sessions. It’s been a long time since I last went out with my friend to enjoy… after all I do need my own space to chill and relax a bit ya? =)

We sang and had some laughter together…




She refuses to let me take her face. LOL!


Wandee sing till so "HIGH" that she's standing up. Hahas!


And I know I look awful seating in such manner singing, I just cannot be bothered. Hahahas.

After our singing session, we went to Cwp’s Kiddy Palace to window shop a bit. And while we were looking at baby’s stuffs, Wandee just kept repeating how wonderful it is to have a baby girl and she hope I am having a baby girl. >.<’’’

Poor me, keep hearing baby girl from Wandee and baby boy from Dumbdumb. But little gem, not to fret, mommy will love you fairly be it you’re a baby boy or girl. =)

Then last night after I came home, rest awhile then off I went to bed. Woke up by Dumbdumb’s phone call chatted awhile and I started arguing with him. I know it’s my fault because I am throwing my tantrums again.

Seriously, I don’t know what on earth is wrong with me that recently I have been feeling so stressed up. I don’t know what exactly I am worrying about and what exactly I wanted. I somehow felt lost and the feeling of running away from all the shit has overwhelmed me. I just so hate such kinda feeling.

Suddenly, I just so don’t feel like getting married and don’t even feel like having baby. I just wished I am all alone on my own. Getting so emotional that I cried the whole night… is this normal? Am I suffering from pre-marriage depression or am I suffering from pre-natal depression or both?!!

Times like that would make me wonder, if I do love Dumbdumb or not. At times when I am ok, I know I love him because I had agreed to marry him. But… why times like now I don’t feel a thing? I know its hurtful for Dumbdumb to know that I have such thoughts but I guess at least by allowing him to know, would help me a little, wouldn’t it?!

Yet last night after telling him how I felt, he told me, he too feels the stress… etc… like comparing me with him and others that I am not the only one feeling this shit. And it just made me feel worse. It feels like he doesn’t understand how terrible I am feeling because no one faces the same shit as I do. They don’t think the same way as I am and feeling the same fear that I have.

I wonder… if I am able to be a good wife, a good mommy, a good daughter-in-law. Am I qualified or not?! I just so don’t like the feeling of making every decision having to care or bother about how others think.

After married, would I still be able to make decision on my own accord without having to care how others feel? Can I still go out with any friends to play? Can I still go out till late night? Can I still do all the things I want? Can I still come home and sleep on my own if I feel like to? Can I still run home out of no reason to feel emo and left crying alone on my own? I am abnormal… am I not?!

I need help… someone out there, who understands my sorrows?! :’(